


my wish come true

by dizzy



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Christmas 2009, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:53:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21949879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dizzy/pseuds/dizzy
Summary: Dan spends Christmas Eve with Phil in 2009.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 36
Kudos: 158
Collections: Phandom Fic Fests Holiday Exchange 2019





	my wish come true

**Author's Note:**

  * For [panlesters](https://archiveofourown.org/users/panlesters/gifts).



There's a song stuck in the back of Dan's mind, trapped like a snowflake under glass. 

"Snowflake under glass," Dan says out loud. "Is that poetic, or stupid?" 

"Hmm." Phil actually thinks about it. "I think it's poetic, but also makes me wonder who put it there? Was it like, Mr. Freeze? Is that how it doesn't melt? Is the glass temperature controlled? Otherwise it'd be a snowflake under glass for like half a second and then it'd be a drop of water under glass." 

"A drop of water under glass is just sad," Dan says. He reaches down and scoops a handful of snow, cold chilling even through his mittens. He forms it into a tight ball, packing it between his palms. 

"It is," Phil agrees, then yelps as Dan hurls the snowball at him. "No fair! Party foul! Party foul!" 

He grabs a snowball of his own but Phil never takes care to form them well enough. It looks enough like a ball to begin with but it falls apart halfway through it's airbound arc, and by the time it hits Dan it's barely a splatter of cold dampness. Most of it is caught in Dan's hat, not even coming close to his skin. 

But what does land on his face he wipes off easily with a smile. 

-

"I can't feel my fucking fingers," Dan says, teeth chattering in an exaggerated way. 

"I can't feel my toes," Phil says back immediately, and the look on his face sparks the sort of childish competition that they both delight in. 

There's magic in feeling free to be truly fucking silly with someone. 

Dan grins widely. "I can't feel my legs." 

"I can't feel my _nipples_." 

"I can't feel my chest hair." 

"Stop bragging that you have chest hair," Dan says. "I can't feel my hair follicles." 

"I can't feel my balls." 

Dan smirks. "Can I feel your balls?" 

Phil laughs loud and sharp and then slaps his hand over his mouth. He removes it to whisper in an exaggeratedly clandestine way, "Maybe. If you warm those hands up, mister." 

Dan turns and sprints toward Phil's house. 

-

The house is very full of all sorts of Lester family relations. They're flitting in and out of every room baking and laughing and wrapping gifts and chatting. 

Dan's sure they're all very lovely people but he doesn't actually care about anything except getting warm and getting Phil alone, maybe but also maybe not in that order. 

So they creep the door open as quietly as they can and then tiptoe through the hallways and up the stairs at almost a run, practically slamming Phil's door behind them. 

Dan has the urge to say the floor is lava. Maybe it's not the floor. Maybe it's everyone-but-Phil is lava. Everywhere-but-Phil's-room is lava. No, not room; bed, specifically. Bed is the safe space, the place nothing can touch them. 

They place they can touch each other. 

His inner child snickers. His inner sixteen year sits wide-eyed in disbelief. His inner current-self just tingles with delight and promise. AmazingPhil isn't a concept for him to think about late at night with his hand between his legs anymore. 

AmazingPhil is real and alive and living and breathing and pink cheeked in front of him. AmazingPhil sometimes tastes of prawn cocktail crisps when they kiss and leaves his socks actually _everywhere_ and adjusts himself in the morning without washing his hands after and wears like, three towels, it's so ridiculous, who needs three towels? 

AmazingPhil is just Phil Lester, who is also actually amazing, but in a way Dan feels is different from his capital-A-self. He's just... Phil. Dan's Phil. 

Smiling at Dan from across the room, then shivering in a way that's too much to be real and launching himself at Dan. 

-

They do warm their fingers up, plus their toes and every body part in between. 

They do it snugged underneath Phil's duvet, pulling it over their head and giggling hot puffs of breath in each others faces. 

Dan's heart feels like it's a million sizes bigger than it usually is, some sort of magic akin to Father Christmas' bag on that one night a year when it's packed with presents for children the whole world wide. 

Except the only thing inside Dan's heart is what he feels for Phil and it's certainly not limited to just one night. He feels it with every heart beat now, every breath, every second he lives this weird sometimes shitty sometimes incredible life he's starting to live. 

"Cold toes," Phil whispers, then digs them into Dan's calf. 

Dan shrieks and then tries to squirm away, but not too far. 

He doesn't ever want to be too far away from Phil. He's trying not to think about how in a few hours he's going to have to get on a bus that'll take him to a train that'll take him far, far away from Phil for far more days than he'd really like. 

\- 

They find a few other ways to warm up, and when they're nice and toasty right down to the very cores of their beings they peel themselves back out of bed and go downstairs. 

It's just the immediate family now. Everyone's preparing to go to to one of Phil's aunts homes, and as much as he tries Dan just can't talk Phil into his backup plan of them running away to Portugal together to spend Christmas day on a nice pretty beach. 

Phil has all these weird ideas about time with family being _fun_ and not, as Dan absolutely knows it to be, the purest form of torture known to man. Phil actually gets gifts that he likes from parents and a brother that actually seem to know who he is. 

Maybe it doesn't matter this year, though. Dan's already gotten his gift from Phil and it's basically the best thing anyone could ever have gotten him. Every time Dan even thinks of it he has the urge to wrap his arms around it and squeezesqueezesqueeze and never let go. He'll probably do something epically embarrassing like go to sleep with it tonight or sniff it and hope it smells like Phil. 

Probably? Definitely. He definitely will. He may even throw all dignity to the wind and hold it on his lap on the train ride back. It probably wouldn't be the weirdest thing on the tube on Christmas Eve. 

-

Dan eats approximately seventy bazillion mince pies before he leaves. 

It's not his fault. He's just being polite. Phil's mum offers them and Dan takes them and then she offers more and he takes more and it's a vicious cycle upon which he doesn't want to disappoint or in any way offend the mother of his boyfriend. 

Even if she doesn't know that they're boyfriends. 

Yet, anyway. Phil says he might tell them soon. But he sounds nervous when he says it and Dan always makes sure to tell him that it's fine, really, because Dan secretly doesn't want Phil's mum and dad to know and hate him or think he's not good enough for Phil or all the number of bad thoughts in his head when he gets scared of how this could all go wrong. 

He's also definitely not ready to tell his own mum and dad. He can't actually ever imagine being ready. He's not sure how anyone does that, except for maybe other people just have less crap parents to begin with? Like parents that don't make them feel so... bad. 

"Hey," Phil says, tapping Dan on the forehead. They're alone in the kitchen, Phil's mum gone out briefly to take a neighbor some sticky toffee pudding before she comes back to drive Dan and Phil to the bus stop. "Stop that." 

He's not talking to Dan, exactly. He's not looking at Dan at least. He's looking right where his finger tapped. 

"What?" Dan asks, then frowns and taps Phil's forehead right back.

Phil crosses his eyes trying to look at it, then swats it away. "Stop! And you stop." Another tap. 

"Hey! Stop what!" Dan says, ducking away too. 

"Stop whatever's going on up." Tap. "There." Tap. "Whatever your brain is telling you that's making you make that face." 

"What face?" Dan asks. "This face? This is just my face, mate, hate to break it to you." 

"Hush, I love your face," Phil says. "Just not when it looks all sad." 

"Was I looking sad?" 

"Yeah," Phil says. "And I don't like it. Dans are made for smiling." 

This particular Dan has never had all tat much reason to smile. 

But maybe Phil wouldn't know that, since all Dan really seems to do when he's around Phil is... smile. 

"I just don't want to go home," Dan admits. 

Phil frowns then too and Dan actually gets why he'd been so insistent on Dan cheering up before, because Dan actually _hates_ seeing Phil look so forlorn. "I don't want you to go home, either." 

"Portugal?" Dan asks hopefully. 

Phil laughs. "Mum would actually murder me, sorry." 

"Booooo." Dan heckles loudly. 

"Boo," Phil agrees. 

\- 

They actually spend Dan's last hour there editing. 

Phil says they should do that instead of going back upstairs because if they go back upstairs then they both know what'll happen and Dan will end up missing his train. 

And they do have loads of editing to do if Phil's video is going to be up on Christmas day. Dan's already promised he'd stay up late if he needed to. It sounds like a way better deal than just hanging out with his family. 

Not as good as if he could stay just like this, though. He likes this feeling of sitting arm to arm with Phil both of them on their laptops - Phil with his swish Macbook covered in stickers, Dan with his ancient potato of a Windows machine - doing something productive together. 

He actually just likes feeling productive, too. It's weird and cool to have someone that really trusts him to do a job. The first few times Phil complimented Dan thought maybe it was just, you know, that Phil fancied him or even worse, Phil felt sorry for him. 

But he knows Phil isn't bullshitting him now. There's no way Phil would let Dan edit something that Phil's going to put on his main channel if Phil didn't actually think he was going to do a good job of it. 

Knowing that Phil actually trusts him and believes in him makes Dan feel good about himself in a way he almost never does. 

"Hey," Phil says, snickering and nudging Dan. He turns his laptop over and plays a brief clip of Dan stepping off into the snow. "This is so great." 

"You owe me for that," Dan says. 

"Your mum owes me," Phil shoots back. 

"My mum owes you what exactly?" Dan asks. "Be careful. Every answer is a wrong answer." 

"Your mum owes me..." Phil draws the word out. "A thank you card for taking you off her hands the past few days?" 

Dan groans. "She'd probably agree." 

Too honest. Phil frowns. "Shush." 

Dan won't argue because sometimes that makes Phil go tight at the mouth and he doesn't want that right now. Only happy feelings allowed in their final moments, no matter how the crushing sadness looms just out of sight. 

"Shush me up." 

Phil leans in and gives Dan a quick kiss on the mouth. "There. Now, work, man slave." 

"Oi." Dan smiles so much his face and looks down at the screen. 

-

Phil rides the bus into town with him. He never says goodbye to Dan sooner than he has to. 

Leaving is still sad but there's someone singing carols on the bus and they hold hands with Dan's jacket draped over their laps to hide their affection from nosy, judgmental view. 

No one can bring him down right now. Not when he has Phil. Not when he's the happiest he's probably ever been in his life.


End file.
